pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
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I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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