I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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