am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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