this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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