I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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True strength comes from lack of pants
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize