I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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