Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize