My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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