Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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