how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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