So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
this is an emotional support booty call
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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