we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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