about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
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Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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