32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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