Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize