i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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