Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize