he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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