Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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