So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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