you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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