She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize