I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize