I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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