So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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