hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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