i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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