planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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