Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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