am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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