It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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