It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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