He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize