Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.

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(202): it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously. http://tfl.nu/bvn1

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(+52): View more from Mexico

I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore

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(+52): I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore http://tfl.nu/b0tv

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(770): View more from Georgia

Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.

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(770): Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird. http://tfl.nu/gky6

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(714): View more from California

what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?

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(714): what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date? http://tfl.nu/fkwi

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(304): View more from West Virginia

apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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(304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu

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(916): View more from California

Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

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(916): Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be http://tfl.nu/iw79

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(425): View more from Washington

After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.

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(425): After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake. http://tfl.nu/nvef

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.

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(401): Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible. http://tfl.nu/g0k8

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(205): View more from Alabama

decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais

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(205): decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais http://tfl.nu/hn97

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(361): View more from Texas

I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.

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(361): I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots. http://tfl.nu/podd

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.

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(612): I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies. http://tfl.nu/bycy

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round

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(215): there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round http://tfl.nu/fnz0

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(914): View more from New York

Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.

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(914): Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket. http://tfl.nu/amsn

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(716): View more from New York

If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.

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(716): If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship. http://tfl.nu/4ap0

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.

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(920): These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice. http://tfl.nu/xvwn

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