youre lurking in front of me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize