I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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