I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize