Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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