'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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