$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize