You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
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Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
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We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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