god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize