i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
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Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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