Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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