Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize