I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize