I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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