So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize