Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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