Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize